“It's all about you.”
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Sunday, October 31, 2010 || 4:57 PM
Just a little more.Grandslam over, half the course done with, and lesser things to worry about for the time being. Incredibly, time actually flies when you are not paying attention, and before you know it everything's done.
I think I've learnt a lot over the past week itself, being placed in hot-soup situations almost every minute, forced to think and react accordingly even in the worst mental condition possible and pushing forward even if the odds are against you. Really, what drives you depends on how clear your mind is at any one point of time. Once negativity corrupts and eats away at your thoughts, you are done for.
I'm actually glad to have been through the experience as an appointment holder over the course of the exercise last week, even at the expense of having almost no rest for 2 days. Being tested and pressured is probably something that makes life interesting and really, there's no better grounds to experience that than in the military itself.
I have no idea why or what I'm typing right now 'cos I think my mind's been fried from all the stress for the last 2 weeks so I think I better leave it as it is for now. Missing so many things and so many people at present.
Thursday, October 21, 2010 || 8:04 PM
I did almost everything with you in my mind.
I tried talking to you with a smile in my heart. Little did I know it flipped into a frown in such a short space of time.
I thought things would get better if I left it off for a while. I tried again, but I guess it didn't work either.
Drama never ends.
Saturday, October 16, 2010 || 8:35 PM
All these, for what?
Thursday, October 07, 2010 || 8:33 PM
I guess it has come to that point of time where everything seems so bleak and colourless.
No vigour, no spice, just monotony seeping into a life that has already been deprived of so many things. No fire, no spark, just lethargy filling up the empty voids left behind in a mortal shell.
I swear this feeling sucks so bad. There are times where I flick my phone up, hoping for a message that doesn't make sense at all, and fall back into slight disappointment. Perhaps I'm expecting too much again but the lack of human touch is beginning to get to me in recent weeks. Perhaps I'm refusing to let bygones be bygones but I suppose my heart is not going to let it go. Or rather, never going to let it go. There are so many things welled up in this tiny piece of muscle that I wished I could scream out loud about but I guess it really is much, much easier to just keel over and stay silent.
I wonder how's this different from being invisible. In any case, I think I'm just beginning to turn into one.
Friday, October 01, 2010 || 10:17 PM
So what's going to happen next?
