Me? I see two buildings. One quite close to my home, the other a road away. They are painted white.
Why, at night, I don't see a shade of white at all.
What does the night try to prove then?
Tuesday, July 29, 2008 || 9:36 PM
Mention something about your life before I start telling you mine.
It's time to live in a no-life. The kind of things that you don't quite like doing much, that kind. Makes you feel all weak and empty and blank.
How is it like to feel so close to breaking? All the secrets being gelled up in some corner of an untouched and unscathed soul, I walk the roads feeling a bit hollow, missing pieces of the puzzle that makes me.
How difficult would it be to stay vibrant and colourful? Sheds of grey stick to my life now.
But at least I know there are people I can always rely on. (:
Monday, July 28, 2008 || 8:59 PM
Whenever I feel like breaking, I just sit down and stare into space.
An absolute waste of time.
School is getting more and more heavy by the day. I just can't stand the fact that I'm obliged to walking everywhere around the school nearly 24/7 and working my ass off with Promos coming ever so close. Gahh.
Experimented bus 67 today at Bedok Interchange to get back home. Turns out it takes the same route as 18. Cool, I'm taking that home every Monday from now on.
Tonight shall be the 3rd time in a week that I won't be sleeping at 10pm. Got a PW WR draft to get myself hyped with. Gahh.
Sunday, July 27, 2008 || 8:52 PM
What happens when you find out that you are not who you are?
How surprising, I would say.
But the one thing that I haven't thrown away is my knack for crazy things.
I love this.
Never gets old huh? Nope. It kinda makes you wanna break into song. Yeeeeee-up. I love the mountains. I love the clear blue sky. I love big bridges. I love how great whites fly. I love the whole world, And all its sights and sounds. Boom-de-yada. Boom-de-yada. Boom-de-yada. Boom-de-yada. I love the ocean. I love real dirty things. I love to go fast. I love Egyptian kings. I love the whole world, And all its craziness. Boom-de-yada. Boom-de-yada. Boom-de-yada. Boom-de-yada. I love tornadoes. I love arachnids. I love hot magma. I love the giant squids. I love the whole world, It's such a brilliant place. Boom-de-yada. Boom-de-yada. Boom-de-yada. Boom-de-yada. Boom-de-yada. Boom-de-yada. Boom-de-yada. Boom-de-yada. Boom-de-yada. Boom-de-yada.....
Thursday, July 24, 2008 || 9:31 PM
Sleepy eyes?
Maybe I should start ignoring it from now on.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008 || 8:24 PM
Post 400.
It's time to switch to full-auto.
Monday, July 21, 2008 || 8:59 PM
I WANT TO TAKE A GOAL KICK SO BADLY NOW.
Sian. I just want to kick something. Finding the correct balance between work and play is getting nowhere, and I just can't keep pace with everything I should be doing nowadays.
The more I see myself not doing something, the more agitated I get. On the other hand, when I start doing something I should be doing, I bore out ever so easily.
I need more time to find what I want again.
Saturday, July 19, 2008 || 9:44 PM
Is it shameful to feel useless?
The inkling feeling that nothing seems to be turning out right, that sense of fatigue in whatever you try to do. I find it difficult to run away from it.
I feel nothing at all. I probably have experienced it one too many times, seeing as though there's nothing constructive I can do extremely well at.
Seeing how the rain fell at Marine Parade Library a few hours back, I think I'm not the only one who feels lost right now.
Thursday, July 17, 2008 || 8:29 PM
Change.
I just kind of dislike this term.
I can't stand the effect of changes. The thing or person that you once thought was right turns to be something or someone which or whom is not the same as before any longer.
Change.
I never fancied it much.
The things that you worked really hard for, all the times you have already been through, you seem to get nothing back. There isn't much point.
Change.
I kind of despise it.
But I am not one to say anything about it.
Because I have changed too.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008 || 8:29 PM
How depressing.
|| 7:47 PM
Notice anything yet?
I will be, the next great thing.
Monday, July 14, 2008 || 10:09 AM
I am surprised with how much I know about a footballer's life. I think I play too much of Football manager.
For one thing, they earn quite much. Too much, in fact. Cristiano Ronaldo earns $230,000 a week, simply by playing one football match. What the hell.
I think managers of football clubs face dilemnas when buying extremely renowned players. It's possible that the world economy is unbalanced, because the rich footballers get richer while those who slog all day don't get anything in return.
How about this: Imagine yourself as the manager of Manchester united, one of the greatest football clubs in the world. You were searching far and wide for a defender who plays on the right side, because the two players in your current squad are old and not that good, respectively.
You then chance upon the football club Sevilla, a Spanish club. You source for a suitable candidate, and to your luck, your eyes light up on a player that is only 25 years old and, to your astonishment, is already the captain of the squad. His name is Daniel Alves.
You approach to sign him, making a transfer bid for him, However, Sevilla rejects your offer, saying that the sum of money is too little for people of Daniel's calibre. Unwilling as you may be, the two clubs then settle for a deal of $50 million.
If you think that was how Liverpool signed Fernando Torres, simply by forking a large sum of money to Atletico Madrid, think again. There's still the player's contract.
Daniel Alves requests for $100,000 a week. Not a problem, seeing that Cristiano Ronaldo is earning double of what he asks for. But what surprised me was the appearance fee he was requesting.
An appearance fee is a sum of money given to a player for every match that he plays in, whether or not he was in the first team or picked as a substitute later in the match.
he was asking for an appearance fee of $51,000.
What.
The.
Hell?
$51,000 simply by flashing your face on the pitch?! That's a rip-off, half of your weekly wage being added on top of your earnings simply for playing in a match. I thought Cristiano Ronaldo was bad enough with $22,000.
Gahh. What a jolly life footballers have. I wish I could even score a penalty properly, or aim a kick properly such that the ball doesn't crash onto the bar when kicked from 10 yards out. Bahh.
Saturday, July 12, 2008 || 9:47 PM
I swear, I am EXTREMELY pissed off now.
Okay, so I found a way to get my internet up, but does it REALLY matter? The follow-up of putting everything lost from the reformatting back into the computer is a PAIN IN THE ASS.
Windows Live Messenger can't be put back in just now, BECAUSE MY COMPUTER DOESN'T HAVE SOME SORT OF UPDATE WHICH REALLY DOESN'T AFFECT THE PROCESS OF PUTTING THE PROGRAM IN MY COMPUTER IN ANY WAY.
iTunes cannot be put back in because MY ASS OF A PET BIRD WENT TO BITE MY SOUND CABLE OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKS WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE AND SCREWED THE WIRING INSIDE THE CABLE WHICH DISALLOWS ITUNES FROM PLAYING ANY FORM OF SOUND AT ALL.
AND NOW I CAN'T PLAY ANY FORM OF VIDEO OR MUSIC BECAUSE EVEN WINDOWS MEDIA PLAYER IS NOT WORKING BECAUSE MY COMPUTER ISN'T VALIDATED OR SOMETHING. WHAT THE HELL.
I'm in a bad mood.
Sunday, July 06, 2008 || 8:55 PM
Having a bad period of time. Absence of internet at home, having to use my brother's computer, listening to my pet birds squabble at home. Gee, it all adds up to a horrendous result.
I don't seem to be speaking sense nowadays. There's no need for me to care about so many things anymore now that I'm a regular person, so to speak. The feeling of overshadowing others seem to be a thing of the past. Rather, being overshadowed is just another new beginning for me.
I won't bother about so many things from now on. I understand myself to be an imperfect person, but imperfection just makes life surprising, no?
I suppose I'll just sit down and wait for surprises to come popping out. Anytime.
