“It's all about you.”
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Friday, June 15, 2007 || 9:35 PM
It's funny, really. There is always at least one thing occurring everyday that would make me think whether I deserve to exist.
Maybe someone should just step up and end it all. I am beginning to doubt myself more and more by the day.
10 Reasons Why:
1. I can't get my studies right. (This is problematic. What if I fail and get retained in IP2? I will be a laughing stock for the rest of my life.)
2. I don't have much respect for my family. (I don't know whether to blame myself for this, because my all my family members go on about my sucky studies and things that I ought to do.)
3. I keep worrying about everything, even things that don't really affect my life much. (I have no idea why, but there's some auto-mechanism inside me that seems to go off almost every minute, telling me there's something undone.)
4. I show my negative feelings very easily. (Self-expression. Maybe that's not a good thing...)
5. Those negative feelings will then spread around, eating into others, making them negative too. (What a depressing thought. Oh man, now you are depressed too.)
6. I seem to be a reserved person. (This is bad. Maybe that's why I don't have many friends whom I can rely on.)
7. I always overestimate myself, and handle more than what I can handle. (Now I know I am wrong. I am never going to be a busybody again.)
8. I hate myself. (Don't you agree? I am just an average in everything. That makes me pretty useless.)
9. I shot a ONE today in a mock competition finals. (Something that totally changed my mood today. I get the feeling that I am never going to improve any further in shooting...)
10. I can't even open my mouth to speak to you.
I really should shoot myself for that.Labels: The Great Depression
