Nothing to do now, or maybe not feeling like doing much stuff, so I thought I would give the thing on Kenny's blog a shot.
Put your music player on shuffle mode. Use the song title to answer a series of questions, even if it doesn't make sense at all. Press forward to answer the next question. Remember, no cheating!
How are you feeling today? Bathe in Dawn's Light - Kevin Kern When I bathe, I feel refreshed. So I suppose it means that I am supposed to feel happy today. Heh.
Will you get far in life? City Of Peace - Kevin Kern Lol. I suppose I don't have to worry about my future that much, because I will be a peaceful person. (:
Will you get married? Cherry Girl - Koda Kumi Oh my gosh... Not someone who stuffs herself with fruit, please? Haha.
What is you best friend's theme song? You Can't Touch This - Mc Hammer Small wonder all of my best friends get irritated when I sing this song. They are actually enjoying it.
What is the story of your life? Everything - Michael Buble Of course. My life is made up of every single thing in the world. Every single thing is just a single chapter to my life story. (:
How was primary school like? Sooner Or Later - Switchfoot Yupp, my primary school life had to come sooner or later. So I suppose it doesn't matter whether it sucked or not, ya?
How can you get ahead in life? Zhuan Shu Tian Shi - TANK To find myself that one person?
What is the best thing about your friends? Battle In Piano (FF8) - Final Fantasy VIII Uhh, they love to pick a fight?
What is in store for this weekend? Tifa's Theme (FFAC Piano Version) - Final Fantasy VII Wish there was actually a person named Tifa in Singapore.
What song describes you? Kiss Me Goodbye - Angela Aki Hell yeah. I might leave this world any moment. A blowing kiss might work too, I don't mind. o.O
How is your life going? Piao Yi - Jay Chou How accurate! It's drifting around corners so fast that I can't even control the steering wheel inside me.
What song will they play at your funeral? Remembered - Kevin Kern Aww, I am soooooooo touched!
How does the world see you? Invoke (Gundam Seed Theme Song) - Daisuke Asakura Does the world really see me as a havoc maker? I don't even have machine guns or laser beams attached to myself...
Will you have a happy life? Fantasie Impromptu - Vladimir Horowitz Ooh, 'Fantasie'. Sounds like 'fantasy'. o.O
What do your friends really think of you? Puppy - Koda Kumi What the??!! I am not a person whom you can kick around and play fetch with, alright?!
Do people secretly lust after you? Fate - Koda Kumi I leave it to fate to decide that.
How can I make myself happy? Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence - Ryuichi Sakamoto Zzz. Where's my presents?
What should you do with your life? Always Be My Baby - Mariah Carey Lol. You know that I am always here.
Will you ever have children? Out Of The Darkness Into The Light - Kevin Kern Erm, in the biological sense?
Friday, June 29, 2007 || 8:29 PM
Consider myself unlucky today.
B Division Pistol Boys National Competitions today. The shooters know that they have done their best, so no regrets there.
And I feel tired. o.0
Thursday, June 28, 2007 || 8:31 PM
Do you see beauty in everything around you?
I do.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007 || 8:54 PM
So psyched up today, I feel high right now.
Lessons passed by pretty quickly today, even though our class clock was screwed up. I didn't know Chinese lesson was just doing a particular worksheet, when I checked my phone and 'What the hell?'. Haha.
Managed to speak to many people, even people I didn't know too well last time. I feel sociable now. Haha.
Put my bag down at the range and took a round at East Coast Park, walking slowly, sitting down by the shore. I felt pretty peaceful at that point of time, and I kind of wished I could do that forever, lying down on some grass field, and looking at the stars waltz in the sky.
Currently struggling with a hell lot of issues, but I won't admit defeat.
Not now, not in the future. Never.
Sunday, June 24, 2007 || 2:30 PM
How inspirational.
|| 11:54 AM
In perserverance, there is hope.
Saturday, June 23, 2007 || 9:11 PM
I am supposed to be doing the Economics essay now, but I suppose penning down what has occurred is far easier than thinking of what to write.
So I woke up at 6am today so as to meet Chiu Yee and gang at the MRT platform at 7.15am. Lazed around a bit on the bed, even though the alarm clock went off like half an hour ago. Then it's like "Alright, get your ass out and move".
Then it was another 1 hour ride to Bukit Gombak. Got so bored, it was like one of the first few times I slept on the vehicle. I didn't even touch my Game Boy. I might have set a record.
Then all of us walked to HomeTeamNS, only to find that the range wasn't even open yet. So some of us just started playing cards outside the range until some guy came to open it at 9.45 when he could have done so at 8.30. Then I suppose that was where we started to do what we did for 2 weeks previously. Just train.
Took the 2nd shift. Shot for only 1 hour because our weapons have to be moved back to school at 1.30pm. And I actually was so stupid to tell the B Division Pistol Girls to pack up when their weapons were not even supposed to go back to school. Apologies. o.O
Some chartered bus came, and we lugged all our stuff onto it. Talked quite a bit to all those on the bus, played a couple of games of cards too. Stupid Kai Liang went to use my Game Boy and trained my Charmeleon till it was level 32 when it is supposed to be at most 30. Zzz...
Deposited all the stuff into the range. Apparently the range cat took the liberty to shit more around the range. And since we were pretty free after we put all the stuff into the armoury, I suggested playing Minesweeper. Literally.
Then Kai Liang, Ahmad, Kevin, Esmond and I went to KFC again to eat lunch. I swear I'm not going to go anywhere near KFC for another 2 weeks or so, or until I feel like it.
Then went off with Kevin and Esmond to play a game of Ghost Squad and Time Crisis 4 while Kai Liang and Ahmad went home to work. Perhaps I need to get back my feel... Went home after that.
It was an eventful day. So I suppose I won't ask for more.
Alright, back to the essay.
My heart couldn't stop smiling today. I couldn't stop smiling today either.
"According to the rules of the theme: People who are tagged should write a blog post of 7 weird things about them as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 7 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'You are tagged' in their comments and tell them to read your blog."
I have been tagged by Shermaine, the world-renowned retard. XD
1. I just want to make others feel happy. That's all I ask of myself.
2. I am an average in everything I do. No comments here.
3. I do things that the majority of people do not do. Play Championship Manager 2000/2001, for instance.
4. I adore songs of peace, or anything close to it.
5. Once I get my head down to something, you won't expect me to give it up halfway.
6. I haven't eaten instant noodles for a really, really long time. Maybe I should cook some now. o.O
7. I love all my friends. Literally. Figuratively. Whatever.
That got me pretty psyched up. Zzz...
Hello to the next 7 people
Caitlin
Elysia Ong
Fang Lin
Kang Ming
Nicolas Yee
Timothy Ong
Wei En
Hello to all these people whom I have not seen for a very long time. You have my regards. (:
Tuesday, June 19, 2007 || 8:33 PM
I just don't know who am I, what am I made of.
It's been about 1 and a half years since I joined the Air Rifle Club. I was prepared to endure all the trainings then, prepared to sacrifice anything for the sake of improving. That was in IP1.
What did I get then? A reserve slot for Nationals. Just because Jun Jie beat me in the selection test at Safra Yishun. I still remember it very clearly. It didn't really matter then, because I thought it was a fair trial. So I gave in.
The competition day came. The 3 other pistol shooters, Jun Han, Jun Jie, Wen Zheng (who quitted last year) went into the firing range. I was left outside, all alone, all by myself, to think and ponder. It was a painful 1 and a half hours, kicking myself mentally and scolding myself for not being able to shine.
But I also decided that maybe I wasn't working hard enough. So I decided to shrug this aside and continue training as hard, hoping for a better result for 2007.
2007 introduced shooters who had unnatural ability, Kai Liang for instance. His score in the first month of his pistol training was on par with what I shot in December 2006. Frankly speaking, I was afraid at that time. Afraid of being left behind again.
And I suppose it all came true today. Joshua came up my pistol team today at HomeTeamNS (minus Jun Han, cos he's training at Safra Yishun) and told us that Jun Han, Jun Jie and Kai Liang would be shooting in the Nationals, a week away from now.
Although I said I was okay when Joshua asked me whether I could take this news, I couldn't help feeling disappointed with myself. What was it that made me lose my place in the major competition for 2 years running? What was it that made me an inferior shooter compared to the rest?
Mr Chow once said that "Those who work hard would be rewarded.", if I remember correctly. I suppose that's not true. I mean, which human being would place effort in front of results? It's just not human nature. Admit it, we are just materialistic.
It's a shame. I'm sorry to everyone who placed faith in me. But I'm just not good enough in anything.
It's funny, really. There is always at least one thing occurring everyday that would make me think whether I deserve to exist.
Maybe someone should just step up and end it all. I am beginning to doubt myself more and more by the day.
10 Reasons Why: 1. I can't get my studies right. (This is problematic. What if I fail and get retained in IP2? I will be a laughing stock for the rest of my life.)
2. I don't have much respect for my family. (I don't know whether to blame myself for this, because my all my family members go on about my sucky studies and things that I ought to do.)
3. I keep worrying about everything, even things that don't really affect my life much. (I have no idea why, but there's some auto-mechanism inside me that seems to go off almost every minute, telling me there's something undone.)
4. I show my negative feelings very easily. (Self-expression. Maybe that's not a good thing...)
5. Those negative feelings will then spread around, eating into others, making them negative too. (What a depressing thought. Oh man, now you are depressed too.)
6. I seem to be a reserved person. (This is bad. Maybe that's why I don't have many friends whom I can rely on.)
7. I always overestimate myself, and handle more than what I can handle. (Now I know I am wrong. I am never going to be a busybody again.)
8. I hate myself. (Don't you agree? I am just an average in everything. That makes me pretty useless.)
9. I shot a ONE today in a mock competition finals. (Something that totally changed my mood today. I get the feeling that I am never going to improve any further in shooting...)
Just thought I would take a break, and go find myself before I embark on again.
I think too much, I don't deny that. I worry too much, I don't deny that either. I just need a chance. To prove my worth. But I guess I never will succeed even if I had the chance though. Because I am just a failure in everything I do.
Training started at Bukit Gombak today. Wasn't really that bad, although I think I need more time to get back my technique after 2 weeks of not using my weapon. Hur.
It has been a long while since I was acting normal. Now's not it. So when?
I honestly had no idea that you wanted me to speak. Then I suppose it's my fault. Tomorrow's a new day. Maybe I'll try again.
I just want my life back. You know, the previous times when I was oblivious to anything, innocent and carefree, and enjoying the company of everyone. Now, it's just hard to imagine that I changed so much ever since I got into the VIP. I don't know it is always at such a point in time where you start to wonder if you made the right choice coming into the IP. Why must we always doubt ourselves at the very last minute? Then again, there's only half a year left. So let's make the best out of it. Game on, 2007.
Back from Australia yesterday. Was too tired to blog at night yesterday, considering that I slept only for 4 hours before taking the flight back to Singapore.
It was okay, I guess, though I thought it could have been better without too much of the mind-draining tasks set by the teachers. Didn't really get to enjoy the trip as fully as possible.
Australian weather was totally different from Singaporean climate. Pretty obvious. Nearly froze like crazy several times during the trip. Tried not to expose this thought most of the trip.
Stuff over at Australia is pretty expensive compared to Singapore, though the bottles of Coke at the supermarkets were the only exception. Drank like crazy along with Kevin and Jun Han when we were rooming together for the last 4 days of the trip.
I managed to learn pretty much at Australia, some of them pertaining to myself, some pertaining to those around me. I never knew how large the world could be. Now I know.
Well, here are the thanks to the people who kept me sane during the trip: The 3 teachers-in charge Coach driver Steve All the tour guides for the various tourist locations Supermarket cashiers for being friendly My group members Sharon, Kelvin, Hsien Liang and Xin Yue Kevin Jun Han Ahmad Thomas Kenny Rhoda Jillian Pu En Althea And all those whom I left out and helped me in some way.
Thus ends this Australia trip. The memories here will never die. Then again, how I wished you were here with me.
